I never agreed with the idea of a bucket list. It just didn’t sit right with me. So I never made one. My ethos has always been “live every moment.” Don’t get me wrong—I have goals and dreams—but I don’t see them as a list of things to do before I die. I see them as things I will do if I have the resources to do them. My list hasn’t changed much in the past 15 years. While I have added to it, it mostly remains unchanged. I hadn’t thought about those things for a while because I was dealing with a mystery illness and my only goal was staying alive. This year for the first time in 3 years, I dared to dream and set new goals, then I got fired from the resort where I taught yoga immediately after New Years and now we are facing a global pandemic. Yet, I remain hopeful that I will be able to accomplish these goals in the coming years as things get better and we can make concrete plans again.
Meanwhile I still feel strongly that all I want in this world is a piece of land I call my own with enough room for a vegetable garden, a tiny house, a van that doubles as a camper and mobile yoga studio.
This year I had three main goals: 1. Buy a minivan to live in; 2. Become NSCA certified strength and conditioning coach; and, 3. Complete a pilates certification at the World Barre Fitness Summit in October. When I got fired in January I was hoping that with a little sacrifice I would still be able to travel to Florida to complete the pilates training and maybe put the other two on hold until I had some steady employment. Now, because of COVID-19, I think even that may have to wait. Also I am not sure that I want to get more fitness certifications. I was only doing it because I thought it would help grow my business. My heart was not in it. For the past 3 months I have been thinking about what I want my business to look like. I have finally decided that I want to focus on helping people heal. I am not sure what that looks like for the services I offer but I really feel that my true purpose on earth is to be a healer and a teacher.
Second, I still want a van and hope that I can get one this year. It is high up on the list of things I want. In St Lucia we have right hand drive vehicles. Many people import used vehicles from Japan. I have decided that a Toyota Townace or Liteace would be perfect! They are designed as a family van that turns into a cargo hauler. They have a second row of seats that fold flat against the front row making them very versatile. This means that all I would need to do in the beginning is insulate the bottom and put in a floor and my mobile studio would be ready to go! From there I can work at my own pace to fully customize this van. I don’t know how I will afford this but I am hoping this crisis brings prices down and I can somehow take advantage of that.
Finally, I love to travel and there are places I have always wanted to visit. However, I find that as I get older and accept the reality of my chronic illnesses, travel does not appeal to me as much as it used to. I am lucky that I got to travel extensively during my time at the Coast Guard Academy. I got to visit Alaska, Seattle, Charleston and Bermuda in one summer. Now that we don’t know when the world will be safe for travel again, I can reflect on some of the places I have wanted to visit for the longest while. It is a short list: California, Hawaii, Europe, Australia and India. These are my dream destinations–the places I would go if I had the resources. I think about them sometimes the way I thought about them when I was a little girl. For a while after college I thought I would get a “good” job that would give me financial security and allow me to take vacations, but since then I have grown as a person and have different priorities. I will definitely travel again but for now I will focus on getting that home base because as much as it feels good to travel it feels even better to have the security of a home to return to.
What is on your list to do this year?